April 15th, 2010

I’m about to give you powerful insider information that I usually only share with paying clients. They have proven they are committed and ready to take serious action. Are you? If you are, here’s your chance to show you what you are made of!

Everything I’m about to share with you will encourage you get off your rear end, take responsibility, and take specific action. You will have the honor of earning all you receive. Sound good?

If you are emotionally mature and ready to take responsibility for creating relationships that work for and with you, you will see this as “a door in” that will test your willingness to grow up and allow yourself to have it all. As you continue reading, please be open to receive.

Let’s get started with what works, what doesn’t work, and why

Let’s go over the basics of what makes a healthy, functional relationship. The most important thing to keep in mind is these tips can be used at work, with clients, at home with your kids, and even in your relationship with yourself and money!

You will discover:

• What attracts certain people to you

• Why we fight or argue

• What the other individual really wants or needs from you

• What you can do right now to cause a shift

• Why this will work

1. What attracts us to each other?

Life has a brilliant way of letting you know what is. All you have to do is look and see.

Begin with looking and seeing who you attract. Take a good, honest look at the folks you’ve accumulated and call friends, family and acquaintances.

Quite simply, you attract the people that will help you heal and/or complete the lessons from your past. The old saying, “you can never run away from you past because your past will always follow you” is true.

Have you ever noticed how your past just keeps showing up, over and over again, in new ways with different players? Same story…new face?

Solution: Face your past. The sooner you get the lesson that life is attempting to teach you (and that you have been trying to avoid) the sooner you stop being stuck and start moving forward.

Story: I had a client with a PhD in psychology that had already done quite a bit of work to improve her relationships. She came to me because she was stuck in repetitive patterns and wasn’t sure what to do.

After assuring her that, if she created the repetitive patterns, then by goodness it would be her that heals them, we got to work. We discovered she had avoided a few core lessons as a youth.  Life was patiently giving her opportunities to learn, yet she resisted the lessons. This in turn created the repetitive patterns.

Two lessons were about personal responsibility and being self-sufficient.  When I explained them to her, it was as if a light had turned on inside. It began to make sense to her why there was so much conflict and unhappiness in her relationships.

Tips:

• Get the lesson from your past and the pain and conflict will stop.

• Fighting and arguing come from resisting the lessons, making others bad and wrong, and projecting your feelings instead of feeling them and letting them go.

• All of the people in your life are there for good, regardless of what it may seem or look like.

Action Steps: Stop right now, get a piece of paper and write down the following:

• Make a list of all of the harmonious and disharmonious people currently in your life.

• Next to every person’s name, write down what you like/love about them. Then write down what you do not like or appreciate.

Make sure you complete this task before you continue reading. This will ensure accurate results.

Be completely honest with what you write. No one will know except you, so please write thoroughly and honestly.

When you are finished, put your list aside. I’ll ask you pull it out again later.

2. What is it he/she really wants or needs from you in your relationship?

It’s really quite simple, because we all desire the same things - to be heard and understood, to be respected, accepted and loved. It’s easy to figure out the “why” and the “what”. It may be the “how” that requires some training, education and coaching.

Tips:

• You cannot give away what you yourself do not have.

• Your relationships with people are direct mirrors of the conscious and unconscious relationships you are having with your inner emotional ages.

3. What can I do right now to cause a shift in my relationships?

Step 1: Remember that list I asked you to put aside? Well, it’s time to pull it out now. Look at everything you wrote down about all the relationships you currently have. See the things you wrote about the people in your life? Well, those things are actually what you are saying to you, about you. If you are ready to shift your current relationships, let’s start with realizing that it’s all about you (without blame or judgment - it is what it is).

Step 2: Next, try out this fun love game. I’ve been using it for years. It does a wonderful job of initiating a shift while also saying, “I care.”  It’s called “10 Things I Love About You.”

Here’s how it works: Go to anyone you are having conflict with and ask them if you can share 10 things that you, like, appreciate and/or love about them. If they say, “sure,” reel off 10 things that you admire and enjoy about them. This tells them that you “see” them and you acknowledge the good in them (instead of always focusing on the negative).

Story: I have been doing this for years in all of my relationships, especially with my kids (who love to hear what is right about them).

Four months after I met the man who is now my husband, I told him 10 things I loved about him. He wiped a tear from his eye, thanked me, and ran out of the room. “Oh no!” I thought. “I just over-did it again with this love stuff!” But, seconds later he returned (he who at the age of 46 had never been married or anywhere near engaged). He looked flustered and excited as he dropped to one knee, held out a gorgeous diamond engagement ring, and said. ”I can’t hold back my feelings of love for you any longer, Michelle. Will you marry me?”

Disclaimer: I cannot promise that your significant other will propose to you after you tell them 10 things you love about them. But, it can’t hurt, right?  :-)

Tips:

• Only say what you truly mean from your heart. They will feel it.

• Give your 10 things for the joy of giving. Expect nothing in return. Just give!

• You may not give “10 things you love” to anyone until you give them to yourself first!

4. Why will this work?

Because love is, and always will be, the solution to everything that is off or disharmonious. Loving, forgiving, and understanding yourself as you create a healthy relationship with you, is the only place to start when you seek a shift in others.

Michael Jackson said it best in his song, “Man in the Mirror.” He sang, “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change.”

Tip: Life does not lie. Are you paying attention? It’s time to begin to win with all your rrelationships!

I hope you have enjoyed these relationship tips and suggestions. Stay tuned for more!

Do you sometimes feel like you’re at odds with money? That no matter how hard you try money is just not cooperating? Do you secretly feel resentment toward money and experience money as something that is NOT your friend?

If you do, you’re not alone. Many of the people I’m meeting and working with are struggling with the very same feelings around money…and it shows!

What’s at the root of this unnecessary plight?

This may shock you, but the real culprit ties back to things you learned as a child or in early adolescence! Do any of these statements sound familiar?

“Money is the root of all evil.”

“Take that dirty money out of your mouth!”

How about subtle messages like ”rich people are bad,” or messages that imply that “wealthy people eventually become bad; they hurt others and  misuse their power.”

As a child I seemed to live in two worlds with money - the one with my (scared) parents and the one with myself. In my world, money was always there for me whenever or wherever I needed it. My parents’ relationship with money was quite different.

I remember seeing my parents fight about money. I recall discussions about how someone had stolen money from them and how trusted people had embezzled and hurt entire families. Dishonesty and fear seems to revolve around money in the adults to whom I was exposed. Sadly enough, even my own mother found ways to justify taking money that I had earned and was rightfully mine.

If you had similar experiences during your life (and especially during your childhood), is it in any way crazy that you might have some internal conflict about being friends with this ugly, unhealthy, mean, unfair money that’s hurt you and so many people you care for?

I recently spoke at a gathering where I pulled two random people from the audience. We explored their conflicted feelings about money. I showed them how their (powerful!) beliefs and feelings have impacted their relationship with money. I asked them to pretend that money was a real person and asked if they would each share  one thing they felt really angry about in regards to how money had treated them.

The first person said “You’re never around when I need you. Why do you go away so often?” The other said with clear frustration, “I feel rejected by you. You’re with others a lot more than you’re with me. What’s up with that?!”

I commiserated with their feelings of hurt and pain and gave them three steps to change their feelings which had been repelling money. Within minutes both participants were laughing and playing with their new “money lover.” They felt that money was no longer running from them. In minutes, money went from being an enemy to being a trusted friend who is ready to support them in all their desires!

Miraculous? Not really. It’s  just education about what money really is and is’nt, and how to make it a personal friend to create real prosperity fast!

The negative or derogatory information about money that lodged in your brain when you were a child may very well be at the root of your money struggles. After all, why would  money be attracted to anyone who believes it to be a monster?

Are you ready to do something about it?

Here are specific steps you can take to turn you’re Money Monster into your Money Lover!

Step One: What has money done to hurt you? Feel it, express it - the deeper the feelings, the bigger the results.

Step Two: Destroy the old money. Do it in a really dramatic way - explosives, flamethrower, acid, whatever gives you the most satisfaction!

Step Three: Create a new “money lover” in your heart in mind. Personalize your money lover. Visualize him or her. Get connected to how much money truly loves you!

Step Four: Connect positively each day to your new money lover. Fall in love with your new, exciting, sexy relationship with money. Watch how fast you attract money to you!

If there is one thing I’ve learned from my wealthiest friends, it’s that they love and respect their money like crazy…and it shows!

Important Note

There is a HUGE difference between toxic, unhealthy money created from fear AND happy, clean, healthy money created from love!

To learn more about how you can create healthy money, join our new Ideal Outcome System™ Teleconference Series beginning Wednesday, March 24, 2010. For more information, visit: http://www.idealoutcomesystem.com/products_services.html#teleconference.

]]> http://createpersonalpower.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=177 http://createpersonalpower.com/blog/?p=135 http://createpersonalpower.com/blog/?p=135#comments Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:48:51 +0000 admin http://createpersonalpower.com/blog/?p=135

Story: Recently I was asked by several people to create a four-payment plan to make it financially easier for them to join my 6-week Ideal Outcome System™ Teleconference Series that will begin on January 27, 2010. (They had already been offered a $100 discount if they signed up by a certain date.)

I love to meet people half way, especially if they are making an effort, so we took the time to comply with this request. I felt the requesters were making a sincere effort to change their relationships with money, prosperity and life.

After setting up the four-payment plan and notifying the people who had requested it, I was surprised when not one of them took action! As a result they lost the opportunity to save $100 on the teleconference series price and spread the remaining (minimal) investment over four payments instead of two.

What’s the point of getting a ladder, if you don’t use it? You have to climb the ladder if it’s going to be of any use to you, right?

So here’s the Problem: Knowledge without action is useless…period!

Ask yourself this question: “Who would I be (or what would I do) if I did not (blank)?”

Have you ever noticed that sometimes a boot in the fanny comes right when you need it the most? Well here’s your boot!

What actions are begging you to take them, but you won’t?

Story: I remember as a little girl begging my mom to buy me candy. She gave in and got it for me. Within seconds I lost interest in the sugary treat and went to play. I expected a fight from my mom but there was none. How boring was that? I was actually counting on the fight to make it worth my while! In my head the amount of fight determined the value of the prize!

Does this sound at all familiar to you? I have told many of my clients over the years, ” This is called an emotional addiction.” They gasp with suprise. Yup, we all have them…until we don’t!

Are you addicted to the thrill of the fight, conflict, struggle  and counting on it being hard or difficult, as I once was? If there is no fight or conflict, we lose interest. We miss out on a “free, no side effect” rush or high that can become very addictive.

Is this what happened to the people who asked me to make my teleconference series more affordable for them? Did they really want to break out of financial and emotional prison? Did they want to take back their power and create a new realtionship with money that would blow poverty away?

We can only guess. What I do know is their actions were inconsistent with their expressed desires.

Here is a BIG secret I’d like to share with you!

A huge percentage of the new clients I work with  that create rapid success learn to be consistent in their words and actions!

I showed a new client five ways she can shift the energy of her retail store and start making more sales to women. She took every action by the letter and did everything I suggested. Shortly thereafter she reported more sales and a deeper connection to her female customers.

An Ideal Outcome System™ teleconference participant took action and used what I shared with her on the calls and reported that her income had risen 70% since the calls began. Seventy percent! That’s not a bad return, is it?

This is what “rubber hitting the road” looks like to me!

Knowledge + Action = Results

Have you ever had your mouth say one thing and your body act out something different?

Example: I’ll call you next week; Action: No call.

Example: I’ll totally be there - count me in! Action: No show.

Example: You mean a lot to me as a client and as a friend. Action: Do the absolute minimum.

Getting in control of your life, your finances and what you attract, takes specific action… massive action, to be exact. Teaching you which actions to take is where I come in.

No, it does not mean you take the same actions that others are taking. It means you begin to change your spots and take new actions that are carefully chosen to give you a desired return.

A very wealthy person (he earned $80,000 per month) once told me: ”Rich people invest and make gaining quality knowledge (which pays them back) a priority.”

What a great wake up call this can be for anyone who has a burning desire to create more but has not yet connected the dots between their actions and the quality of their life!

Solution: Isn’t it kind of funny how easy the answers are? I mean, we all basically want the same things: safety, happiness, inner peace, food and shelter, free time, prosperity, freedom and, most important, to be appreciated and valued for our contribution. We all need to matter, right?

Identifing what we want isn’t too difficult. It’s the creating of it that seems to really get in the way of the majority of people that seek my assistance.

Actually, the creating is no more difficult than figuring out what we really want, so why do we make it so darned hard?

Here are some Ideal Questions to ask yourself if you’re ready to get big results. But first answer this one: What is causing you to NOT take the actions that will give you your heart’s desires?

Take this quiz

1. I know what my 6 Core Values are. Y/N

2. I am precise and detailed about my heart’s desires and I have written them down. Y/N

3. Do I think that without my heart’s desires I will NOT be happy? Y/N

4. Do I create distraction and conflict becaue I’m scared of success? Y/N

5. Can I see clearly what actions am I taking or NOT taking that create my life to be exactly what it is? Y/N

6. Am I ready and willing to do anything necessary to be able to take different actions that will create my Ideal Outcomes? Y/N

7. Would I rather go toward the unknown (which may be much better) than keep doing the known when the known is making me unhappy? Y/N

If you answered Yes to all of these questions, good for you. You’re ready to take new actions and get new desirable results!

When you LOVE your Ideal Outcomes more than struggle and poverty, you will be ready to take action.

When you take strategic action, you will get every Ideal Outcome you desire… and more.

Remember: NOT taking action and doing nothing is still taking action!

Repeat this statement to yourself: My Ideal Outcomes come to me when I take massive, appropriate, focused action, right now.

As the family says in the movie Meet The Robinson’s, “Keep moving forward!”

I have a wonderful action step for you if you are ready to move fast! Visit www.idealoutcomesystem.com/products_services.html

Until my next blog post, big love to you! This is Michelle signing off.

P.S. - I’d love any comments you would like to share about this blog!

Have I got some news for you! Are you sitting down?

I’ve actually done something extraordinary. I have joined my Create Personal Power business with Dr. Beth Halbert’s Compassionate Parenting business. Together we have created a new business called the Ideal Outcome System™.

The amazing results our clients and our team are receiving are nothing less than staggering. We would love to have an opportunity to share this with you and rock your world!

We are seeing ourselves, our families, friends, and clients transform and attract their dreams faster than anything we ever imagined possible. I am not exaggerating when I say it is mind boggling power. We are all getting mind blowing results. And man oh man, are we having some FUN!!!

I have personally experienced a tremendous increase in Joy, Abundance, and Ease with everything and everyone in my life. It is becoming astoundingly clear that we have hit the mother lode in showing people and ourselves that it is possible to have all of our IDEAL OUTCOMES NOW!!!
 

To learn more right now go to: http://www.idealoutcomesystem.com/

Our greatest challenge has been to get everyone used to their new drama-free, struggle-free lifestyle.  To be quite frank, I know struggle and lack really well. I’m less familiar with what we have created. It is actually a little weird and uncomfortable when all your dreams are coming true. The question you have to ask yourself is “HOW GOOD CAN YOU STAND IT?” 

Some of the very specific things I have experienced personally are:

·      I am no longer having a tumultuous, court-battle drama with my ex-husband. My children and I are now experiencing him as the loving man and dedicated father that he is.  He is happy, the kids are happy and I am happy. Everyone gets to WIN!!!

·      I finally have custody of my teenage daughter Ashley, a dream she and I have wanted for years. Who says having a 16–year-old can’t be sheer bliss?

·       My marriage has never been happier, more fulfilling or more fun. My ideal husband Alan and I keep going to higher and higher heights of marital bliss with each other.

·      I’m traveling to places I love and experiencing life in complete and total abundance.

I’m having a blast and totally loving my professional and personal relationship with my new business partner and long time friend, Dr. Beth Halbert. We have created an amazing Dream Team by joining our powerful principles to take this Ideal Outcomes program to the world.

So, why am I sharing this with you?

I would love to have everyone who is a manager, an executive, in sales or owns a business to have the chance to learn how we cracked the code and experience the power and freedom we are feeling about life, business and our personal relationships NOW.

I’d like to ask permission to tell you about a way you can be a part of what we are up to. If that’s all right with you, read on. If not, I give you my love and warmest thanks for attracting this message to you.

So here comes the “salesy” part . . .
 
Are you, or do you know, any sales professionals, executives, managers, or corporate business leaders who are ready to stop struggling, searching and purching stuff and take their success to the next level right now?
 
If you are, then do we have a treat for you!
 
You may qualify to enjoy a complimentary, one-hour session with me, Michelle Rigg, and Dr. Beth Halbert, the founders of the Ideal Outcomes System.
 
1) If you have any interest in significantly increasing your profits, attracting more of your ideal clients with less stress and more enjoyment as you reach your desired outcomes while getting positive ROI in the next 6 weeks . . .
 
2) If you are tired of talking about what’s not working within your business and your team and are willing to try something that really works . . .
 
3) If you are ready to end repetitive patterns that sabotage your Ideal Outcomes . . . 
 
Then you may be ready to hear the truth about what is standing between you and your Ideal Outcomes.  Just send us an email http://www.idealoutcomesystem.com/ to reserve a time and date for you and/or your entire team.  First come, first served! 

Complimentary One Hour Session

with Dr. Beth Halbert and Michelle Rigg

Email to us your interst to reserve a time and date

                   Michelle@IdealOutcomeSystem.com

Here’s what you get: 

A complimentary one-hour laser session with Master business coach/mentor Michelle Rigg and Dr. Beth Halbert, PsyD that will give you:

• More clarity about what it’s going to take to reach your ideal outcomes now

• Specific actions and a game plan that will serve to take you or your team where you choose to go

• A boost of hope and enthusiasm as you get to experience how easy and fun the Ideal Outcome System really is

• A lighthearted approach to breaking down the obstacles that once may have seemed impossible

• A clear understanding of what we have that is the best fit for you and your team to achieve optimal results fast!

• You will feel heard, understood and gotten, no longer alone. 

• A recorded copy of your laser session as our gift to YOU 

(Disclaimer: This recording may be used in other training programs.)
 
If you find value in this offer, we would love it if you would forward this email to your business colleagues, friends and acquaintances that may benefit from meeting us.
 
Here’s a how you can win when we win . . .

When you forward this email to the friends and colleagues you feel will benifit most from what we have and they purchase one of our program options, we would love to share that abundance with you. 

Interested in knowing more about how, contact us. 

It is no accident that you attracted the oportunity to read this. Let us know how we can be of service to you in any way!!

We live a believe that says if you win, we win. Put us to the test by telling us how we can help you win and we are on board!
 
Take great care,

Michelle Rigg and Dr. Beth Halbert

Most ants and bees have highly specified roles within their communities, some of which are biologically dictated, and they work within the confines of their roles without complaint, never wishing to be something other than what they are. In this way, they symbolize self-knowledge and humility. They also display selfless service as they work for the common good. In many ways, they are like the individual cells of one body, living and dying as necessary to preserve the integrity of the whole body, not to protect themselves as individuals. In this way, ants personify the ability to see beyond one’s small self to one’s place within the greater whole, and the ability to serve this whole selflessly.

Ants and bees can inspire us to fully own what we have to offer and to put it to use in the pursuit of a goal that will benefit all of humanity, whether it be raising consciousness about the environment, feeding the hungry, or raising a happy child. Each one of us has certain talents we were born with, as well as skills we have acquired. When we apply these gifts, knowing that we are one part of a greater organism working to better the whole world, we honor and implement the wisdom of ants and bees.

It’s amazing how many new clients and prospective clients I speak with who suffer from the frustrating, elusive ghosts of “internal self-sabotage!”

 
Once you learn how to manage your “inner world”, everything will begin to work smoothly at producing and manifesting your ideal outcomes consistently and effortlessly each and every time. 

As I look back into my past I can identify about half a dozen times where I couldn’t continue to do what I was doing because it was not bringing me my ideal results any more. I had to switch, but switch to what? Actually the answer wasn’t to switch to what… the answer was switch to who?

My priority was not ME and my happiness. It was everything and everyone else… And it showed.

It was when I met my friend and client, teenologist, Dr. Beth Halbert, that I learned about my internal village and what it was costing me to not be in touch with it. She brought to my attention that for years I had been ignoring the various emotional parts of myself. Those parts were fighting back by causing all sorts of undesirable things to happen with my clients and my income. 

I couldn’t understand how my inner emotional selves could have any impact on my outer world outcome? Was I about to have a rude awakening!

I began to see signs that something was off. I noticed that no matter what new thing I learned or tried to take action with, I still could not stay in my “A” game consistently. It took tons of energy to keep doing what I was doing.

Sound Familiar?

A BIG red flag that has always guided my choices is…if it’s a struggle and requires a ton of energy, it’s not right! I knew my energy could be better used creating real results that came easily without struggle or excessive effort.

It was like pushing an elevator button over and over again, with no elevator in sight! Man.. was I frustrated! 

So what does this have to do with you creating your ideal outcome?

Well, everything. This one seemly small oversight was causing a steady decline in my income and client base , as well as creating an unnecessary struggle in nearly every project I was pursuing.

So, I began to learn all I could from Dr. Beth about the “emotional ages” within me and the real impact they have on our financial results, how many clients we have and KEEP, our relationships, and the overall quality of our lives.

I was shocked at what I discovered…It impacts everything! So I dove in. The more I developed my internal edge, the more successful I became.

My income reached my goal level without struggle or effort. My client base began to steadily grow with IDEAL clients that I love working with. My family and marriage are happy and extremely harmonious. My company and coaches are progressing fast. All because I learned about this missing piece!

Once I got it, I began teaching it to my clients.

They created their “Ideal Outcomes” faster than even I thought was possible. I realized that we were onto something here!

The interesting thing is that this “emotional village” is in all of us! No one is exempt from it. You will benefit BIG TIME once you learn the hidden power that comes from dealing with your inner emotional village.  No one that wants to succeed can escape it. You can pay attention now OR you can wait until it gets a bit more painful..it’s really up to you.

So, let’s see if I can put this into perspective for you.

It’s your emotional condition that impacts and controls ALL your outcomes. In short, it’s the root system to all you create! Unfortunately it is frequently overlooked in success training.

kind of important, wouldn’t you say?

Here are some real ife examples:

I recently used this system with three new clients that all came to me with similar obstacles: a slow decline in money, a feeling of confusion, no current system in place, quality of life decreasing, and stress increasing!

 First we sat down and I introduced them their inner village and how it controls everything they feel (which controls every outcome they create.) It was as if a light went on! I could tell by the light in their eyes and the sudden increase in energy, that they “got it”.

Then we got extremely clear about what truly drives their happiness. Let’s call these “values” I showed them how fast they can produce results without struggle if they begin to focus on their values and their IDEAL OUTCOMES in very specific ways!

All three clients said the same thing: “Now it all makes sense!” They began to produce their ideal incomes and ideal lives FAST ALL it took was for them to:

                        • Became centered in their values
                        • Get clear about their message
                        • Begin taking laser- focused actions
 

My interior decorator client created a free weekly radio spot numerious new clients and more confidence and calm in her day to day life and schedule. As a bonus, she finally got the “zing” to come back in her (self-described) lifeless marriage that had been devoid of passion for 5 years! All this after only two phone sessions.

My client who is TV producer created his ideal income from his Hollywood studio contacts, a new ideal TV show, increased confidence, calm and clarity about what he wants and how to get it! Did I mention that his idea income was 100K base. Booyaa! And after only two sessions

My client who is an IT specialist and former millionaire who lost it all created new clarity about his path, confidence about what he can and will DO, and got his success edge back in just one session! More to come with this fireball.

The steps to creating your Ideal Outcome  are simple, clear and just plain work, FAST! Mix this system with a healthy emotional village and you’ve got the winning formula to creation!

Here are the steps to creating your ideal outcome:
 

•  Make YOU a priority! Get in touch with and honor daily, your core values [listen daily] to your inner emotional ages

• Get laser focused internally and externally around your message, purpose, and values

• Make sure all your actions are intentional and precisely the actions needed to produce your predictable consistent, ideal results every time!

These results  are real,  “You CAN have it ALL” once you learn the steps to bring it all together, you’ll attract your Ideal Outcomes fast!

To learn more about this amazing process

 Feel free to call 866-807-8173 and ask about the Ideal Outcomes System™

“What is this something that keeps messing me up?” I would yell in my mind! Well, the truth of the matter was that I wasn’t playing full out. I wasn’t giving it my “A” game. And it showed in the results I was getting and in my constant stress level.

What are the symptoms of playing a sub-par game?

• You feel “off” or burnt out
• You’re not motivated
• You give it “your all” but feel disappointed
• You’re distracted and off-focus
• You do not follow through or keep all of your promises
• You’re not getting the results you seek
• Secretly inside you want to be doing something else
• You blame others, the economy, illness, bad luck, “the system”…

Mediocrity Vs. Excellence

I suppose being mediocre does have its advantages. For one, you get play it safe and not look foolish. You get to avoid risk and safely hang with the crowd. But is that really safe? Or is it actually an illusion?

Growth, which in my world equates to personal power, comes to those who push their own limits. It comes to those who take risks and are willing to fall down and get back up!

Careful avoidance of life’s lessons doesn’t equal growth or fulfillment. You have to be willing to make a fool of yourself, over and over, and to be constantly learning and refining your game. A real “expert” always has the heart of a novice.

What does a “C” Game look like?

You Resist Stress and Discomfort

You perceive stress as “bad,” so you try to avoid or resist it. Rather than dive into the deep end of the pool, you stay in the shallow water and blame circumstances for your tepid performance. You blame co-workers, teammates, bosses or corporate policies. You blame the weather or your allergies. You blame the magnitude of the task at hand. You are always in conflict with what you’re doing. Resistance saps your energy and ensures you won’t contribute your best effort.

You Hang onto Preconceptions

You decide you already know the best methods, steps and strategies, so you close yourself off to input. You strive to keep things the same and resist change. Fear takes over. You lose your “in the moment” presence and become one-step removed from the challenge. Your struggle is with yourself rather than the task at hand. You are not engaged enough to see the lesson that is being offered.

You Work Harder and Harder, But Feel Unfulfilled

Seeing that you’re not getting the results you want, you double your efforts, rather than open yourself to change. No rest for you! Slavery is alive and well as you push yourself ever onward without reward. There is no opportunity for celebration and recovery because you have nothing to celebrate! You’re repeating old patterns again and again, which is a sure-fire formula for burn-out.

Most of us, sadly, have been conditioned to play a “C” game the majority of the time.

What does an ‘A’ game look like?

An ‘A” game consists of three stages:

Stage One: Accept Stress & Discomfort

Any challenge that demands our best will create stress. The key is to view discomfort as natural and necessary for growth. Go into the discomfort and the troubling emotions, instead of around them. Work through them by staying with the challenge, pushing your boundaries.

Stage Two: Break through Illusion/Get the Lesson

Be prepared to make the changes that growth demands. Let go of what you think you know and be willing to see something new. Stop being an “expert” and be a novice. Be open and curious. See the truth, deal with it, and push forward.

Stage Three: Apply and Recover

Apply what you’ve learned. Celebrate by resting and recovering from all your hard work. Reward yourself for flowing with change and growing as a result.

What if you’re playing your “B,” “C” or “D” game? What do you do?

FIRST- wake up and see what you’re doing. In Brad Kearn’s book, How Tiger Does It, he talks about the approach of balance (pg 144). The winning strategy for training any great athlete is balancing stress with recovery. That doesn’t mean avoiding stress. It means facing it full-on and then giving yourself the gift of recovery.

The funny thing about stress is that by failing to face it, we never get past it. It remains in our lives forever as a steady background irritant. If we tackle it fully we get to experience reward, recovery and rest. Balance.

Here are 6 steps to getting back to your “A” game

1. Detach emotionally and observe what you’re doing without any judgment.
2. Rate your commitment from 1-10. Keep it at a 10.
3. See the outcome you want, then let go of it.
4. Be open to seeing the truth so your can get coaching about how to improve.
5. Be coachable/teachable.
6. Adopt CACI as your standard (Constant And Continual Improvement)

An “A” Game is Friction-Free

The ultimate “A” game happens when we’re in “flow,” the state athletes call “the zone.” How do we get to this state?

• By giving up all resistance and surrendering to the task at hand.
• By getting out of our minds and becoming fully present.

When we are in the zone, all friction with the world and ourselves disappears. Even though what we’re doing may be hard work, it doesn’t feel like work because the friction is gone. Without friction, we maximize every effort and produce “A” results in everything we do.

Remember: Your behavior is always something that is in your power, so choose today to “up” your game and see what power is within your grasp!

Oh yes, and most importantly, always remember to have FUN!

©2008 - Michelle Rigg

It’s a scientific fact, though, that fear makes us stupid…literally! You see, when we’re relaxed and feeling safe, we are able to use all of the knowing faculties that make us human: reason, common sense, intuition, spiritual guidance. And we are able to use them all in a delicate weave, each one informing and drawing wisdom from the others.

But when we feel threatened, our brains shut down. We revert to low-level, one-dimensional, lizard-brain thinking. We disable our brilliance, creativity and highest-level capacities. We go into survival mode.

As a result we make bad decisions - decisions that often compound the very situation we fear.

Instinct tells us that by narrowing our brain functions, we are better able to focus on the threat at hand. Maybe this was a useful response for our ancestors when they were literally being chased by saber-toothed tigers, but it’s not helpful in today’s world. Cutting ourselves off from our highest faculties does not make us more efficient, it just makes us, for lack of a better word…stupid.

Fear causes us to separate not only from the ablest parts of ourselves, but from our loved ones as well. We become suspicious, self-protective. We lapse into a defensive, “me-against-the-world” kind of thinking.

The best response to challenging times is unifying, not fracturing and pulling back. Opening up to more of our wholeness, rather than shutting down, is the key to making intelligent, life-enhancing decisions. Connecting more deeply with our loved ones and ourselves is the antidote to the panicky fear that can hobble us when times get rough.

Flip It Around

Sadly, it is in those very situations where we need our fullest faculties that we are most likely to shut them off.

One of the worst decisions we often make during scary economic times, for example, is to stop spending money on personal growth. For companies, this might mean canceling training programs and educational benefits. For individuals, it can mean quitting therapy, canceling a spiritual retreat, or severing a relationship with a life coach.

Spending money on ourselves, in the face of tough financial times, can seem unnecessary and self-indulgent. This makes as much sense as cutting back on eating when you’re weak from starvation and poor nutrition.

I would encourage you to consider flipping it around and trying the opposite approach. That is, getting additional help, rather than reverting to “the cupboard is bare” kind of thinking. For it is exactly when the outer world looks most fearsome that we need to be at the top of our game.

A personal guide - coach, trainer, advisor, master, whatever term you prefer - can be a crucial tool for helping you access more of your Self when you need it most. A skilled mentor can help you avoid the mental, spiritual and emotional “shut-down” that threatening situations can induce and bring out your badly-needed “A” game.

Cut in Other Areas

If a lean economy convinces you to cut your expenses, I suggest you do it in areas that really are indulgences. Exercise at home rather than joining a gym; go out to restaurants less often; rent a DVD instead of going to the movies. But don’t stop investing in life guidance and life itself! In fact, consider adding guidance if you’re not getting any right now.

Now is not the time for being less than you can be. Quite the opposite. Investing in yourself right now might be the very key to thriving, rather than sinking below the waves.

Smart companies do more training when times get rough, giving their employees a new competitive edge. Smart individuals need to think the same way.

Why Do I Need a Guide?

But do I need a guide at all? Why? Aren’t they just New Age luxuries? What can they teach me that I don’t already know?

In our culture, we are very leery about seeking guides for our inner lives. Yet, we readily accept the need for coaching in other areas of our lives. If we want to learn French, for example, we seek a tutor who speaks that language. If we want to become an Olympic-caliber swimmer, we hire an excellent coach. We understand the role that coaches play…or do we?

A skilled life guide or life trainer functions in much the same way as an athletic coach. That is, she/he doesn’t “pour” anything into you that you don’t already have; rather, she/he helps you to bring out more of what is already inside you. His/her job is not to ADD to you but to reveal the TRUE you. To pull out strengths and resources you cannot see. To see what is in your blind spot.

A good inner coach never pretends to have the answers. She/he knows that the answers to your life dilemmas lie where they were created…within you. He/she simply helps you find them.

Five Qualities of a Good Guidance Relationship

Here are some qualities you might look for in a relationship with a coach or trainer:

1. The person has something you don’t have. Just as you wouldn’t try to learn French from someone who didn’t speak it, you don’t want to take life training from someone who fails to project the inner powers you are trying to master. Want to learn about inner happiness? Seek a mentor with divine light in her eyes. Want to learn about creating abundance? Well, don’t hire a life coach who is living, as Chris Farley used to say, “in a van down by the river.”

2. The person is as committed as you are. One of the reasons we are suspicious about mentors and masters is that there are a lot of second-raters out there. Make sure the person you work with has passion for his work, is confident about his abilities, and cares deeply about your success. Look into his eyes. Listen to his voice. Make sure she is in this thing 100%.

3. You and the person share a similar definition of success. Everyone has a different way of defining success. It’s important, before you commit to working with someone, that the two of you are in synch. My definition of success, for example, does not include a certain dollar figure, job title or zip code. Rather, I see success as the freedom and ability to do exactly what you want to do. Make sure you and your guide are looking for the same kind of outcome.

4. The two of you have a plan. A good mentor/coach has flexibility in her approach, but does not fly by the seat of her pants. She has a plan, an identifiable strategy. Your work together has structure. That structure is subject to change as needed, but it’s not amorphous and completely open-ended. When working with a life expert, it’s not necessary to have goals - goals, in fact, are weak, limiting and artificial - but objectives are very helpful. Objectives are concrete stepping stones that serve as measurements of our growth.

5. You both know when you’re complete. In general, coaching/mentoring relationships should have an expiration date. That is, when you’re done your work together, you’re done. Both of you should be able to recognize and agree upon this. You should be able to end your work in an equitable way and move on. Mentor relationships that go on forever tend to be unfocused and ultimately unproductive.

Yes, we live in tricky financial, emotional, electronic times.

The news media is having a field day selling fears of economic catastrophe. But that is not reason to pull back on your inner work. It is, in fact, a great motivation to go to work amping up your personal power. One of the greatest ways to make speedy progress in this dimension is to work with an accomplished mentor.

Instead of asking, “Can I afford the expense?” you might want to ask instead, “Can I afford not to be operating at my optimal power during these challenging times?”

©2009 - Michelle Rigg